Covid Has Finished it All. Or Has it?

For the longest time possible, I have been someone who cannot help but look at the brighter side of life. Be it my failed relationships over the years, professional work life or anything else for that matter, I have forever believed, whatever destiny has in store, is mostly for good. So much so, that when Covid 19 hit the world by a massive surprise, I was, like everyone else all across the globe, shocked and after the initial shock died down, and the entire world went into months of lockdown, I was slowly prepared for what to come.

I knew, a lot of us would struggle financially, work-wise and a lot of other unforeseen events would happen. And that is exactly what happened – people lost their jobs, things turned real nasty. But, looking at the brighter side of life, I was glad that the lockdowns were being slowly being lifted and probably, maybe, we will start finding work and would be able to take care of our families and ourselves as well. The initial struggle did happen, no doubt. But, then work started to come, slowly but surely. I was hopeful and happy that although things could never be 100% same (pre Corona), but atleast even this “new normal” wasn’t something that we needed to curse.

And then, it happened! The 2nd wave hit the world and India and everything went down the drain. This wave has been absolutely terrible. It has affected everyone around me. A lot of my friends have been affected; either they were down with Covid or their families were. A lot of people I knew personally lost their lives. It is just sadness and a grim situation, no matter where I look – online or offline, all we get to hear on a daily basis are uncontrollable death and spread of the virus.

During the 2nd week of April, I also came down with a mild fever (99F), to which I suspected was Covid. Ofcourse, as expected, I couldn’t get the tests done because of the huge pressure on the entire medical system of the country. My tests, which I scheduled were automatically cancelled atleast 3 times, and I just gave up. Ofcourse, I had isolated myself inside my room from the day I started to feel feverish and instantly started with the recommended medicines that I had heard were working. I also consulted a couple of doctors online and they strictly suggested me to start meds from day 1.

Ofcourse, I am okay now (and hence I am able to post this blog tonight as I cannot sleep), and the fever abated after 4 days of being a constant 99F. I showed no other symptoms though. So, I am still confused whether it was indeed Covid or a flu. But, what concerns me at this point of time in my life is work. I’ve no work at all, and whatever projects were lined up were all but cancelled. So, practically, I have exactly zero projects in my hands and with the situation not getting any better in Delhi or in the country as a whole, it is only going to get worse from bad.

I am so financially broke that I am not even able to order a pack of coffee online (of which I am a huge lover!). I just realized as I went online onto Blue Tokai coffee’s website that I couldn’t even afford Rs.830/- for my coffee and a pack of filter paper! It is sad and depressing, but like I’ve said, I am someone who thinks positive and tries to look at the silver lining.

I have hope. Hope that things will eventually be better. Hope that the value of human life would be understood by a country who is, right now, seems least bothered. Hope that work will follow and so will some sort of financial stability. Till then, I am thankful that I and my loved ones and close friends are doing alright. And holding on. For that is all that’s required as of now. Ofcourse, apart from masking up all the time and properly sanItizing ourselves…

Brewing Romance…

It’s a hot summers Wednesday evening. She is sitting in this beautiful little coffee shop. It’s probably her alone time after office or something, I couldn’t tell, really.

She hears him before she sees him. The door opens. The tiny bell hung above it rings, signaling his presence. She looks up from her Cappuccino and laptop at the soft noise and the burst of air coming through. She stops her work, almost spilling her hot coffee all over her in the process.
He takes off his shoulder bag and looks around. His dark-rimmed glasses make him seem just a bit more sophisticated than he perhaps really is. He has taken on the style of the big metropolitian city after all.

He walks up to the barista and orders his coffee of choice. She couldn’t hear him well enough to really decipher what he likes to drink. His eyes scan around the seemingly empty coffee shop, feeling as if someone is watching him. His gaze falls upon her, observing him from across the room. His eyes look at her for a second or two and then move on.

His name is suddenly called by the barista and their staring contest finally breaks…

Broken…

I feel rejected. I feel numb, it feels like my sense of self and balance is absolutely gone. Life has its share of hardships but rejection and in-turn revenge are extremely hard to cope with. Since the past few days, I have been struggling really bad with anxiety and to some extent panic attacks. I am all alone and dealing with this extremely jolting pain all by myself is getting out of hand, slowly and I can feel it. And the worst part is, as much as I want to get it out, but I cannot even share with anyone. Anyone at all. I am broken. From within. Shattered.

I feel like I am caught up in the stormy brain chemistry of rejection and loss where I feel zero self-worth and I am almost on the verge of depression. I feel I am not needed, and I have no worth or value for anyone in my life. I already am having a lot of anxiety, a feeling of addiction and deprivation, plus an overwhelming drive to finish this life altogether. I want to combat the real emotional pain of rejection and loss, but the struggle that life has become is making it impossible for me to just hold on to life itself.

I feel like a needy fool. This ordeal is just gutting me inside out. I feel like I am going down the drain and I cannot help it. I feel rejected, sad and total loss of self-belief and love. I feel broken…

All I Ever Need is a Little Love…

First of all thanks for taking the time to read this post. I come out as a very social, happy & outgoing person on the outside but on the inside, it is a completely different ball game altogether. I am currently really struggling a lot with recurrent depression. At the moment I’m finding it extremely hard trying to cope with the feelings of loneliness and isolation I am experiencing. This is really sad as I am quite a social person who has lots of “friends” but I feel very alone and unwanted.

I really struggle with a long-held belief that I will be alone forever, and that nobody could ever really love me for who I am. I really want love & affection. It just makes me very sad that I am so alone. I don’t want to be alone. I mean, who in their right mind enjoys being lonely. Right?

There have been days in the past week or so where I’ve had extreme struggle with sleeping, eating or anything in general. I’m losing interest in everything, by the day & I can feel it. I write down these things here don’t know why. But maybe because I want to get these feelings out but sadly there is not a single person right now with whom I can speak about it.

I just want to be heard, loved and feel cared for. Which, like I am realizing now is very hard, I guess. Tears are rolling down my eyes as I type these words, I feel a deep sense of disappointment & feel like a failure when it comes to my personal life.

All I need is a little love…

Ladakh – A Romantic Saga ||Episode 1 || Delhi – Sonmarg (Kashmir)

Day-1 (Delhi – Sonmarg) route details: Delhi – Sonipat-Panipat-Karnal-Ambala-Ludhiana-Phagwara-Jalandhar-Mukerian-Pathankot-Sujanpur-Kathua-Ghagwal-Samba-Jammu-Pulwara-Sringar-Ganderbal-Kullan-Sonmarg.
Total distance: 990kms.

The plan was pretty simple, really, or atleast so it seemed. Start driving late night and drive as far as we possibly could so that the 2nd day could be a relatively easy drive to Leh from wherever we would be at the end of 1st day’s drive. And since we were four guys and we all know how to drive, it pretty much should turn out to be an easy affair or atleast that’s how we thought it should be.

Now, the vehicle of choice was a SUV since we pretty much knew the terrains we would encounter woudn’t really be what you call ‘smooth’ in real sense. Yes, there would ofcourse be stretches where we would find some awesome tarmac to go “crazy” on, but then there would also be roads (or the lack thereof!), where we would pretty much crawl, to put it mildly. The stuff that we had packed for this 6-day long expedition to #Ladakh were:

1. Camera gear (first & foremost, and for ME, most important)
2. Warm clothes, although it turned out to be pretty much not needed (more on that later)
3. Engine oil & a 5 litre extra jerry-can filled with diesel for the vehicle since finding diesel might just be an issue enroute
4. Cash and bank ATM cards
5. Snacks & chocolate bars for instant energy
6. Miscellaneous knick-knacks.

We met at the now famous Taj CCD around 1am from where we were supposed to begin this journey. Now, driving on the straight stretches of highway is pretty much something which anyone with a sense of judgement and a patient and cool mind can easily do all night. Getting out of the Capital at that time of the night was a no-brainer and we were cruising happily on the National Highway-1 (or rather AH-1, as it is now officially known) in about 30 minutes time after leaving Delhi. Now, I am what everyone calls, a very patient driver and somebody who would NEVER take a risk while on the road, and since it was well past midnight, I decided to take it real easy and we took a couple of breaks here and there to pick up some energy drinks and just generally relieve ourselves and stuff.

The night was pretty much uneventful and with a driver change in between somewhere passed Chandigarh, we were in the hills by dawn. Now, once you cross into Jammu & Kashmir (at the Lakhanpur border), the prepaid mobile connections seize to work and that is because of the security concerns. Out of the four guys, two (me & another friend) had prepaid connections while the other two had postpaid ones. So, essentially, once we entered J&K after paying the toll-tax at the Lakhanpur border, the prepaid mobile networks were gone, and I pretty much switched off my mobile phone and kept it inside my camera bag, both, to conserve the battery (as if I’d need it in the next 6 days, except, perhaps, to surf the internet & check for emails/ whatsapp/ Facebook/ Instagram/ Twitter over hotel wifi at different locations) and also, I just wanted to feel light. I wanted to feel free.

You see, mobile phones are good; I am not against them. But, there are days when you wish you wouldn’t have them but you cannot help it. So, Ladakh presented me an opportunity to be without my cell-phone for a period of 6 days at a stretch and somewhere deep down, I was pretty satisfied with this.

Nonetheless, this – the first day’s drive was pretty much uneventful, and although we had to drive constantly for more than 18 hours, we finally reached Sonmarg (which is about 990kms from Delhi) by night; if I remember, it was around 9:30pm or so that we checked into a nice, small, cozy hotel and relaxed for the night.

As tired as we were, while eating our dinner and even after going to bed, I constantly kept thinking and visualizing about the kind of high-passes & the terrains that we would encounter the next day. I had been to Ladakh on earlier occasions but the sheer excitement just doesn’t abate, no matter how many times you visit that magical place. I had also pretty much visualized the kind of shots that I wanted – both for my still album and for the film that I was there to shoot.

With all that excitement and adrenaline flowing through my veins, even at 2 in the night, I couldn’t really fall asleep while everyone else was fast asleep. Finally, after calming my nerves down, I went to sleep, for the next day had some amazing stories which were to unfold…

 

…to be continued.

Ladakh, 2016 – Episode 1: Prologue

Ladakh is a dream destination for many, and as I start penning down the travelogue, I realize, there is so much to share, so much to write. And a barrage of emotions just batter me. Here is the first part (the prologue, really)  – Ladakh – A Romantic Saga: Prologue that I’ve managed to pen down. A lot of story-telling to be done, a myriad of emotions and memories to share. Stay hooked! 🙂

From the Land of Lama

I’ve been to Ladakh on a few occasions earlier, but somehow every-time I go there, I discover something new, something exciting, something which I’ve never discovered on my earlier trips. And generally, I prefer driving to Ladakh instead of just comfortably taking a flight and landing in Leh. Driving/ ridng to the place makes you see a myriad of things and makes you experience a lot. You get to see different places, you get to meet new people on your way (and hopefully make friends), and ofcourse, you get to do it all at your own leisure.

Well, this post isn’t really the travelogue so to speak, but more of a prologue to what is to come – a proper full-blown travelogue and photographs about Ladakh and ofcourse the short travel film about #Ladakh which I’m editing as I type this. That would take about 2 more weeks to complete; till then, I would like you all to look through these few pictures and a small video which I managed to film, and is dedicated to the friends that I’ve lost.

The following are just a few pictures which I wanted to share. The rest shall be shared with the travel-story, and also IN the film that I’m editing right now. 🙂 Till then, please enjoy these.

Torque of the town – Big Boy Toyz Gurgaon Showroom

Text & Photos: Bobby Roy

 

When it comes to luxury cars, supercars and the likes, we, the Indian public have got choices, many choices to choose from. If you have the moolah, the brands are here to offer you a super-luxury vehicle tailor-made to your specific requirements.

Now, Big Boy Toyz, a name synonymous with luxury car brands has launched India’s biggest exotic car showroom in Gurgaon recently, and we were there to cover the entire extravaganza, and what an absolute treat it was! This newest (and biggest, mind you!) showroom is a 4-storey one and is located in the Millennium City, Gurgaon. But, apart from the massive size of the showroom, what’s special is that this 36,000 sq-feet multi-storey showroom has a display capacity of well over a 100 luxury cars, with a dedicated Motor-Bar Express and a Work of the art luxury suite to cater to clients from all across the country.

At the press-conference (From L to R): Ms.Neha Dhupia (Bollywood actress), Mr.Jatin Ahuja (President – BBT) & Mr.Nipun Miglani (Director-Sales, BBT)

Catching the BBT personnel in a light, candid moment!

 

It is important to note that BBT does not deal in cars older than 2012 and done not more than 25,000kms., strictly non-accidental, non-refurbished cars and non-meter tempered cars. Also, it is good to know that each car that they sell has to go through 151 quality control checks which is really comprehensive & stringent pre-procurement checklist. If you are worried about the warranty that these cars offer, well, you can relax as these come with a 15,000kms. warranty and 1-year buy-back agreement. Now, that is a deal which hardly any other so called ‘re-seller’ would provide you with!

Now, if I can be liberal enough to talk about the party that happened; it wasn’t your usual run of the mill affair. With dignitaries & celebrities like Indian Hockey team captain, Mr. Sardar Singh, Mr.Rahul Mahajan, Ms.Neha Dhupia, Mr.Karan Kundra, VJ Anusha, VJ Gaelyn, Deep Money, music director, Harris Jayraj and many more gracing the event, it was an evening to remember. And thanks to Mr.Rohit Nagpal, head, brand & marketing at BBT for inviting me, I was one of the few lucky ones to have been present on this happening evening. I think, I must let these pictures do all the talking.

An evening to remember!

A beautiful, bright red Audi R8 V8 at BBT, Gurgaon

The huge crowd that gathered outside the BBT showroom, Gurgaon

Krishnendu Kes, senior journalist & photographer

Mr.Rohit Nagpal, head brand & marketing, BBT, with music director, Mr.Harris-Jayraj.

An amazing performance & a beautiful evening at BBT

An amazing performance & a beautiful evening at BBT

Big Boy Toyz Gurgaon showroom

 

Essentially, with the launch of this showroom, which, undoubtedly is the largest showroom of luxury cars this country has ever seen, Big Boy Toyz is the ultimate haven for automotive enthusiasts looking for performance, style, luxury & beauty. And one just needs to be there at the showroom to actually believe these words!

Kashmir – the first date

Kashmir – the first date is an account of a young & beautiful girl from an urban town who visits Kashmir for the first time & falls in love with the entire valley. I hope you guys enjoy watching this as much as I enjoyed filming it. smile emoticon

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Amritsar || Travel Video

 

Amritsar is a beautiful city, and home to one of the holiest Gurudwara, the Golden Temple or ‘Harmandir Sahib’ as it is also known. This is a short 3 minute travel video which shows a glimpse of the city as well as the Golden Temple through the eyes of a beautiful lady.

Please ‘Like’, ‘Share’ & ‘Subscribe’ to this channel for weekly (Monday) updates on travel, automotive & photography. You can find more about me here:
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Facebook profile: http://www.facebook.com/thecanonfanboy
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/bobbyroyphotography
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